Struggling with body image? Body neutrality might help

If you’ve spent much time on social media in the last few years, you might have come across the ‘body positivity’ movement: a wave of content and campaigns rejecting narrow, unrealistic beauty standards and inviting us to love and celebrate the diversity of our bodies, instead. Body positivity focuses on the acceptance of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, skin tone, gender, or ability.

This is a wonderful vision, and the movement has done a lot of good for the world. But in day-to-day reality, body positivity can sometimes feel a little out of reach. The relationship we have with our bodies is complex, and constantly changing. Some days we might feel great in our bodies, and on other days, feeling good about ourselves might feel more difficult. For those of us who struggle a lot with body image, the prospect of feeling confident in our skin and celebrating our bodies might feel a long way off.

If loving our bodies isn’t always possible, a more realistic goal might be to feel neutral about them and see them as tools that help us move through the world. This is what body neutrality is about.

This article will answer the following questions:

1. What is body neutrality?
2. How can body neutrality benefit our mental health?
3. How can I take steps towards body neutrality?

1. What is body neutrality?

Body neutrality is an alternative movement to body positivity. First popularised by Anne Poirer in her book, The Body Joyful, body neutrality is all about changing the value we place on our appearance. Rather than helping us love our bodies, the goal here is to spend less time thinking about them altogether and to focus on our internal (rather than external) worth instead. It encourages us to value our bodies for what they do, rather than what they look like, and spend less time casting judgement on our appearance.

Central to body neutrality is acceptance: we might not always love our bodies, but we can still nourish and take care of them, and appreciate them for the things they do for us.

2. How can body neutrality benefit our mental health?

Clinical psychologist, Dr Hannah Wilson, says that “Body neutrality can benefit our mental health in several ways. For example, placing less value on the physical appearance of our bodies can help reduce worries and body-checking behaviours that increase anxiety. It can also help reduce self-criticism and shame around our physical appearance. Body neutrality can serve as a more sustainable and helpful goal to work towards. Seeing an achievable aim can free people from feeling stuck and may help them feel that working towards a more balanced sense of body image is possible.”

3. How can I take steps towards body neutrality?

Body image issues are often very deep-rooted. It’s possible that difficult feelings you have around your body have been ingrained over many years. Sometimes we might project all kinds of hurt and insecurities onto our bodies. In cases like these, it can be useful to get professional support to help you heal your relationship with your body. 

Regardless, it’s important to remember that having difficult body image days is normal. Sometimes it might be difficult to feel totally ‘neutral’ about your body, and that’s okay. Part of body neutrality is accepting that we won’t feel good about ourselves all the time.

That said, if you’d like some help moving towards a more ‘neutral’ relationship with your body, here are five practical tips that might help.

1. Focus on function over form

A helpful way to move away from valuing your body in terms of its appearance is to shift your focus onto your body’s function - how it works, and the things it allows you to do. To borrow a phrase from Dr Lexie Kite, co-author of the book, More than a Body, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament. It doesn’t exist to look a certain way. It exists to facilitate movement and connection, to help you experience the world around you and to keep you well.”

You might find it helpful to write a list of all the things you’re grateful that your body has allowed you to do. This could include the places you’ve seen, the meals you’ve tasted, or the people you’ve been able to help with your words, presence, or actions. You might appreciate the times your body’s fought for recovery from illness, or the ways it has allowed you to connect with others.

2. Be mindful of your self-talk

Words are powerful. The more we hear something, the more likely we are to believe it. It can be helpful to pay attention to the judgements you place on your body, whether that be an unkind thought as you pass by a mirror, or a self-deprecating comment you make about yourself to a friend. Simply noticing the way we talk to ourselves can be a first step in helping us move away from unhealthy self-talk.

We’re often much harsher judges of our own bodies than we are of other people’s. When you notice a negative thought about your body, it might be helpful to reframe the thought, imagining how you would speak to someone you love.

3. Practise body-neutral affirmations

A great way to break a pattern of negative self-talk is to interrupt the cycle with positive affirmations. An affirmation or mantra is a helpful phrase that you can repeat (either aloud or in your head) to help you build confidence and find comfort in difficult situations. It might feel silly at first, but repeating positive affirmations can be really helpful. Essentially, the more you repeat something, the more believable it becomes.

You might like to choose a few affirmations that resonate with you and write them down so that you can return to them whenever you’re struggling with body image. You could even write some on sticky notes and put them somewhere you see often, like your bathroom mirror.

Here are some examples of affirmations that might help you feel more neutral about your body:

• My body is a tool, not an ornament.
• My body may change, but my worth remains the same.
• I am so much more than a body.
• I won’t always love my body, but I can nourish and take care of it every day.

4. Practise non-appearance-based compliments

Body neutrality is all about moving the focus away from our bodies and onto our internal values and characteristics. Moving away from appearance-based compliments can help with this.

We may be very good at telling our friends they look good or complimenting their outfits, but how often do we tell our friends that they’re intelligent, kind, or a good friend to us? Moving away from appearance-based compliments can help us, and those around us, to remember what really matters.

You might also find it helpful to write a list of compliments to yourself that could include things you like about yourself or are proud of, that have nothing to do with what you look like.

5. Ask for support

If your relationship with your body is causing you a lot of distress or is impacting your day-to-day life, it could be helpful to speak to a friend, family member, or someone else you trust. You could also speak to a professional such as a university counsellor, an online mental health service like Kooth, or even a specialist service like the eating disorder charity, BEAT which has a great deal of support available, including a helpline, online chatrooms, and a Helpfinder to aid you in identifying specialist services in your area.

Body image is complicated, and we might not always feel good in our bodies. On the days that loving our bodies feels difficult, we can still appreciate them for what they do for us and nourish and take care of them. Body neutrality can help shift our focus to our internal worth, and help cultivate gratitude for our bodies as tools that help us experience the world, but don’t define us.